The facts and my musings about my life as a mother with mental health problems. How we all cope as a family. Parenting my child through depression and anxiety. Candid, sometimes bleak, sometimes hopeful, but always honest. One post won't tell you my story- follow me to get to know my life.
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
It's been over three years since I've had a haircut or colour put through. My hair was really long, really damaged, and really, really drab. I looked like one of those stressed out mothers who never look after themselves, because, well, I am one of those stressed out mothers who never look after themselves. Looking unkempt and boring doesn't do wonders for the old self- esteem.
Recently I've been trying to take better care of my appearance. We don't have a lot of money, but I've squeezed our funds a little bit in my direction for once, and bought a few new clothes. I even did some clothes swapping with friends, getting rid of some of the nice stuff that had been sitting in my wardrobe since I put on weight, and getting back some funkier stuff in my size.
But a good hair-do is pricey, so I've had to wait patiently! It's so hard to wait when you know you're ready for change. Lucky for me Mother's Day and my birthday rolled around recently and I scored a voucher and some cash. Boo-ya! Off to the hair dressers for me!
So I spent the day in the salon getting my hair cut and coloured- blonde, orange, and purple. It looks completely crazy, very cool, and not in the least bit boring. And I feel great about it.
I can look at myself and feel like I look like the person on the outside that I want to feel like on the inside- fun, confident, fashionable. Someone with self respect. And that brings me that little bit closer to having self respect.
I hadn't been home that long this afternoon when I had an unexpected knock at the door. It was a social worker from CYFS- (New Zealand's version of Child Protection Services). She was coming to check that things were going ok since I cam home from hospital, and that my daughter was safe and well. That's a positive thing. I'm glad that they're making sure my child is ok. But it's still CYFS, and that's still a little unnerving. Having an official person coming to check that you're being a safe, loving parent is pretty scary.
But I think the visit went well. She said that she can tell from watching Anastasia is a very emotionally secure child, and that lets her know we show her a lot of love and caring. And she told me again that she thinks I'm a great mother. I'm just unwell right now. And I did the right thing by calling them that day a few weeks ago to get help. Yes, I reported myself as a bad parent.
More about that next post.
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- ▼ June (12)
- Hi! I'm Maya and I'm here to blog about my life as a mother with mental health problems. I'm getting a lot out of reading the blogs of others and their experiences, so I'm giving sharing my own a go. I'm pretty approachable, so if you want to talk to me or ask me a question, go ahead :-)